Relationships!

As a 15 year old teenager (referring to Samhita😉) if you thought I am going to ramble about some mushy relationship marking Valentine’s day, you will be disappointed. I am going to dwell on 3rd generational friendships that have transcended times and lives (literally since the originating friends are no longer alive !).

“Social media gets you Followers.
Life gets you Friends.”

However, if you want lasting friendships you must invest in building and nurturing the relationship over time. Who better than my better-half, who I must credit with this art and craft of carrying forward generational friendships spanning across languages, communities, cultures and countries. The secret perhaps is, he is not on any social media (not even on WA status !). When I started my life’s journey with him over 30 years ago, I initially witnessed this ‘phenomenon’ with awe and scepticism. Gradually, I adapted and enjoyed being accepted by / accepting his multi-generational friends who are our extended families. These friendships that started with his parents in the 1960s have gotten stronger over the decades and are now resting with our children who I hope will take it forward in their own ways.

• February saw me juggling between intense work and back-to-back extended family weddings across cities. Two women (in their 80-90s from my MIL’s generation) that I met are really special.  The Delhi aunt I believe, broke open the gullak (piggy-bank) and emptied her entire cash savings to buy a ticket for my husband when he had to airdash to Mysore from Delhi on his father’s untimely demise 40 years ago. Those were days of meagre earnings, unaffordable air fares and only cash economy. The Mumbai aunt stayed with my MIL for a few months to cook and care for her when we were losing her to the cursed disease, Cancer. I was just married and couldn’t fathom the depth of these relationships which I truly value now ! Both of them reminisced their younger days, the food that they cooked and ate together with my MIL, the joint shopping they did, places visited, letters written etc. They were overwhelmed seeing us and so were we.

“Your relationship karma functions as the mirror of your intentions.”

• One family happily hosted us for the pre-wedding days with excellent home-made food and fun filled times with their grandson, sharing all their personal highs and lows (as a brother’s family would) and packed specially curated vegetable pickles (Delhi style) to carry. The hostess who is a passionate cook and in my opinion, is capable of running a gourmet food startup actually with the repository of recipes that she has, fondly recalled what dishes exactly my children eat when they call on her in Delhi and how she makes for them. She was longing to see them both soon.  Conversation began with how our respective MILs were thick friends (when alive) and how they exchanged dishes – Mysore and Delhi styles and continued to revolve around the weddings attended in each other’s families over generations, the shared sorrow of departed souls and the joy of seeing newly constructed houses and successful businesses of the current clans. It was free-flow, heart to heart talk that warmed our stay!
• Seeing a new-born in another family reminded us that we were stepping into 4th generation of relationships, which began with my FIL during his stay at drilling camps. While the men worked together closely, oblivious of their office hierarchies, their spouses back then bonded over food, festivals, picnics, office parties etc. that cultivated the relationships amongst families – they found in each other a ‘home away fromtheir native homes’ !
    
• At the wedding, we were surprised to hear from strangers how much they knew about us – because the wedding host had spoken at length about us, the friendship that dated back years. I found that my husband knew almost every single family member of the host including their cousins, spouses, children, close friends as well as related anecdotes.  It was so fulfilling listening to some of their stories that recalled people from our family who are no longer with us.
• At the Mumbai wedding, the host proudly introduced us to all his guests “They are representing my father’s side from Mysore”. Those who knew how close ‘chaddi-dosts’ he and my husband were, laughed that as young lads one would drop the other home and the other would again walk him back to his house – up and down the same street, multiple times. Those were different days, sans social media when Time seemed to tick at its own pace and Life was uncomplicated and pleasurable, in its own ways.  

Cut to now. Cut to the core of Samhita. While the usual Ministry updates from MCA, RBI, DGFT, GST, IT, IBBI during February, 2025 are carried in this 309th issue of Samhita, we have also highlighted updates from IFSC and ESG. Government of Karnataka has recently issued an Ordinance regulating the Microfinance industry (players who are not registered with RBI as NBFC). Ms. Rajeswari Pai, Senior Associate who is the key driver in getting Samhita on time every month with the regulatory section has summarised the highlights for quick reference. Don’t forget to catch it !  

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